Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Pencilz Down

1. That patch of dirt out by the drive way will never be a garden because
  1. you know science and science told you to stop trying to grow things where your heart wants to see dust. 
  2. the king rats and mole people have claimed that patch of land for themselves.  You hesitate to play the apex predator card this far into the suburbs. Plus it’s sort of neat to see them come together for a greater cause. 
  3. again, science, but different reasons.
  4. again king rats and mole people but because of fear. 
2. You’re not worried about drinking 
  1. city water from lead pipes. You dream big and risk it all. 
  2. cocoa with marshmallows at your kitchen counter like a goddamn toddler who cannot hold her gin. 
  3. Polonium in your tea. 
  4. Tea in your polonium. 
3. When confronted with discussing your favorite book
  1. moonwalk away. They won’t love it the way you love it.
  2. say it’s a tie between the Velveteen Rabbit and the Lorax. Celebrate your subterfuge by moonwalking away. 
  3. answer with the Economic Essays of 1848, wait for another communist to agree and make out with them profusely, then go for kebabs. 
  4. be the asshole who admits that they love to read, but not books. 

4 comments:

  1. Love this idea.. really want to do something

    ReplyDelete
  2. 1 (b)
    2 (a)
    3 (a)

    Yes, I'm an animal rights, devil-may-care intellectual snob.

    Thanks for asking the hard questions, Izy.

    ReplyDelete